This weekend I stumbled into Mad Max Fury Road. I did so because the wife wanted to see a movie and the idea of sitting through Pitch Perfect 2 felt like needles penetrating my arm pits. I also took a chance based on the trailer which is TOTALLY FREAKING INSANELY AWESOME. What I got was one of the most fantastic experiences I’ve ever had in a theater (other than the time I made out with my first girlfriend in High School, but otherwise, the statement stands).
My recommendation is that everyone go see this damn movie immediately. You don’t even need to read this article, seriously, just go see it. I don’t care if I wasted my time writing this.
Anyone who says they will go see the movie, right here, right now, gets a free Biker Planet profile and they have the added bonus of taking a date to the movie (or being taken). Click here to take the deal. Ok, Biker Planet memberships are always free, but I thought I’d throw that in there because I’m such a nice guy.
Beware though, instead of smelling like onions to your date, you will leave the theater smelling like gasoline. Sexy? You’re damn right it is.
So why should you see it?
There are some bad ass chases, and they involve Motorcycles
The chase scenes in Fury Road are like nothing you’ve ever seen before. EVER. Actually, Patton Oswalt may have said it best when he left the theater.
If you can't wait to see MAD MAX: FURY ROAD just snort 10 cubic feet of meth & jump into a gasoline fire.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) May 14, 2015
The movie is one long chase scene (I’m giving nothing away) and that makes it absolutely perfect. 2 hours, 1 minute, shit flying as insane post-apocalyptic machinery blazens a path of movies history across the Australian outback. And honestly, it could go another hour. The effects are great, but don’t expect CGI, the stunts are real, it looks real, it feels real.
There is a guy playing a flame throwing guitar on the front of a huge truck racing through the desert
I’ll see your Nazi’s melting face at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark and give you a masked villainess guitarist with a guitar that doubles as a flame thrower, ripping cords atop a barren stage welded to the front of a speeding rig. And I win this. Every time. Fury Road does things movies have never done and may never do again (until part two is ready, of course). This movie offers you a rock and roll in the form of an abrupt slug to the face. And it feels so damn good. Imagine and ACDC concert meeting Kill Bill meeting Clockwork Orange meeting those insane dreams you had as a small child: That’s this guy.
Girls are bad ass in this movie
Kill Bill has some awesome girls. But they pale in comparison to Charlize Theron pumping a toxic and explosive oil rig through a desert while being chased by post-apocalyptic savages swaying from steeples on chasing trucks. This movie does not discriminate, even older women are killing in the name of heroism and martyr initiatives. The women are beautiful and sexy, suffering and relentless.
Are you seriously going to see Pitch Perfect 2 instead?
If you have daughters who want to see this, or nieces, I get it. Drop in, it is probably great fun. But Mad Max Fury Road is the adult time you and your friends have been looking for.
I mean, look at this.