You might think this question sounds silly, but it’s very telling and this is the right time to ask it. It might appear strange to you, but here it is: Would you want to marry you?
The world we live in is filled with self-centered people constantly asking the same question: What’s in it for me? It happens with romantic relationships, it happens with all sorts of personal or business-related connections. Most people wonder what they’re getting out of it, but never wonder what they’re actually giving in return.
Life is about balance
Doesn’t matter if it’s karma you believe in, or it’s new-age version called the Law of Attraction, the point is that what goes around, comes around. And it really, really does.
Whatever you call this sense of balance, it most certainly goes for relationships. You need to give in order to receive. The most successful relationships are focused on giving, not receiving. A loving relationship is all about nurturing and caring about one another, rather than just thinking about yourself and your needs.
It’s not about keeping score and it certainly isn’t about expectations. It’s about wanting to create a universe of two – where both parties are happy and satisfied.
Now ask yourself: are you someone you’d marry or date? If so, why? Is it because you think you’re fantastic, or is it because you know exactly what you have to give to make a person happy?
Would you date you? Think about how you act on dates, think about the way you perceive dates. Do you try to amuse the partner? Would you go out of your way for them? Are you enjoyable to be around? Do people around you love talking to you? Are you trying to help those around you, are you trying to contribute to their well-being?
If you think the answer to all of these is a YES, then, by all means, congratulations!
BUT if you don’t recognize yourself in these questions and you can’t sincerely say you actually care a great deal about those around you, you will need to work on it. You need to understand you’re not the most important individual in this world and people don’t exist to please you. It’s a two-way street. If you don’t give, and only focus on receiving, people are going to stop giving too. Chances are you’ll end up alone wondering what happened. Your lack of interest in the other party along with your lack of contribution to the relationship happened, that’s all.
It’s pretty simple. Your answer to that initial question will tell you a lot about the way other people perceive you: Would you want to be married to you? Would you want to be around you?
Think about it.