Ever wondered why endings of relationships hurt so much, especially when it comes to mini relationships? Why is it hard to let go if it wasn’t real love?
Mini relationships are a very common thing in online dating. Not many people hit the jackpot and find their soul mate the first time they decide to meet someone they’ve met on dating sites and apps. Unless you’re a fierce judge of character, chances are you have had (just as the rest of us) at least a couple of short-term relationships on your path of searching for love.
Those mini relationships can go from several dates to a couple of months. What differs them from long-term relationships, among other things, is the way we end these mini flings, along with the way we feel after the end. These short relationships leave us with an unclear mind after the breakup, especially if you went head over heels and believed the two of you would have been amazing together.
Of course, it’s normal to be down after such a relationship ends. You opened up to someone, maybe even seriously fell in love, had hopes and dreams. Now that all of it is shattered, you feel as if you’re left with nothing. You feel you’ve wasted your time and feelings, you feel betrayed, and most of all – you probably still think the two of you would have been GREAT if only it wasn’t for that one thing (bad timing, his ex still snooping around, a big red flag that turned up eventually, etc). All of these can be the reasons why endings of relationships hurt, especially these short relationships.
The truth is all the “could’ve, should’ve” are leaving you restless and yes, they hurt very much.
When you end a relationship that never even really developed into deep commitment, you actually end a dream. You never got to know this person on a deeply personal level; you never got to know all about the good and bad about them. This is the main difference when it comes to ending a serious relationship as opposed to a mini-relationship.
If it wasn’t real love, do we know why endings of relationships hurt?
When a person is in a long-term, committed relationship, they get to know all about their partner. They get to find out how the partner acts in various situations, they get to REALLY know the person because the relationship goes beyond the honeymoon phase and it hits reality.
Ending a long-term relationship is ending something because it didn’t work. You’ve tried it and it simply didn’t work and you know this for a fact. You have a closure and a reason why this person needs to be out of your life. You know it wouldn’t work out, ever. Why endings of relationships hurt – because you’re ending a big part of your life.
With mini-relationships, you never go over the honeymoon phase. You never get to know if the two of you would work as a team when it comes to everyday things or any little things. You have no idea if the two of you are compatible because the illusion you’ve created out of passion and desire for someone still lingers. It had no time to end. You had no time to meet the man/woman behind the illusion.
It’s completely normal for these mini-relationships to leave you hurt and somewhat broken – for a little while. Just make sure that little while doesn’t change your perspective on love because there are amazing people out there. You just need to find them.