Author Archives: Diana Spasic

4 Questions To Determine If He’s Worthy of Being Your Boyfriend

You’ve met a crazily attractive guy online, and the two of you have started messaging each other regularly. Messages have slowly led to flirtation and turned into phone calls.

After realizing you’ve got a lot in common, you decide to get together and go on that first date with your crush. Once the date is over, there are usually three paths for the relationship to continue:

He suddenly becomes emotionally distant
He continues to text you every day and tells you all about their day, but the spark is somehow gone
Things start getting better every day from there, and you can’t wait to see each other again

The first two options probably sound familiar, as they’ve happened to anyone who has ever tried online dating. The third one is the big win, and as such, it’s natural for it to happen with only a few people.

But what to do if you aren’t sure what’s going on and where all this may lead?

Your person may sound fantastic one day, then give you doubts the next day. He may be telling you you’re the one for him, but you may notice his profile on the dating site is still very much active. He may be talking about your future dates, but they don’t seem to happen as often as he talks about them. You may notice your conversations keep revolving over him complaining about his problems which makes you wonder if he actually cares about your life.

Before you lose tons of energy trying to rekindle that spark you felt initially, there are several questions you need to ask yourself to determine if this relationship is worth the effort.

The Four Questions You Need to Ask Yourself

If you’re unsure of your new crush’s intentions, you don’t need to figure him out – you need to figure yourself out. The way you feel and what you expect should be your priorities.

Here are four fundamental truths you need to find out to determine if this is the relationship you want and need:

1. What do you like about this person?

Think about the things you like about them. Is it their looks? Their hot bike? Their sense of adventure? Their personality? The way they make you feel?

Put the positives about them on paper and think about how unique they are to this person. For example, if their fierce sense of adventure and super powerful bike are on the top of your list, but the way they make you feel doesn’t even reach the list, it may be time to let that man go. There are so many hot bikers with a free spirit, but some of them are ready to commit and make you feel like you’re the only girl in the world. If this one isn’t doing exactly that, he may not be right for you.

2. Is the relationship fun and easy? Are you happy?

The way you feel most of the time should be your guide. No matter how he used to make you feel in the beginning when the flirtations were on fire, the way you feel with him right now is what counts. Is he treating you like an emotional booty call, only reaching out for you to give him support and listen to his troubles? Are the conversations still fun? Are the adventures real, or are they only in plans for the future? What are you getting from this relationship daily? Is there affection, compromise? How about support?

If the answer to these is primarily negative, it may feel like a slap in the face, but knowing how someone makes you feel will tell you how to treat the relationship.

Relationships should be fun, filled with laughter and support. Your boyfriend should care about making your days better, being there for you when you need them. You should feel loved and adored, especially during those initial several months. If you find yourself helplessly trying to bring back the spark you felt when you first started talking, chances are you won’t ever see it.

3. Is your guy making an effort?

Phone calls aren’t dates, and this includes facetime. We may live in challenging times, but if a person doesn’t want to make an effort to see you face to face, they probably don’t want to be in a real relationship with you.

A boyfriend who cares about you wants to see you all the time. He doesn’t make vague plans for the distant future, and he asks you out immediately:

“What are your plans for tomorrow?”

“Wanna go on a small road trip this weekend?”

“How about barbecue these days?”

Actual invitations for real face-to-face time are a must. If there aren’t any, it’s probably time to call it off and start browsing through that dating app again.

4. What do you lose if you call it off?

Ask yourself what you will lose, and I mean FOR REAL if you stopped talking to this person. Is it their daily calls? Their messages? Your visions for the future?

Would losing this guy involve losing something real like passionate kisses, support, friendship, warmth, and a sense of togetherness? Would you lose a partner?

While it’s normal for you to resent losing your fantasy about a once-promising relationship, realizing the imagination hasn’t translated into real life is crucial. You may lose a dream, but at the same time, you will free your mind, heart, and time for something real.

Stay if it’s real

After a long, honest talk with yourself about the things mentioned in this article, you may realize you don’t really like the guy as much as you enjoy your idea of him. Holding onto an idea that has no solid backup from his actions can result in losing time and energy over someone who simply isn’t that much into you. More importantly, you may be giving your best to someone who doesn’t deserve you.

You deserve someone who invests into the relationship as much as you do – and if you’ve got one of those men, hold on to him tightly!

You DO Have a Type and Study Suggests It’s Likely Your Ex

The words: “He/she isn’t my type” is something most of us have said or thought at least once. We hear it all the time, whether it’s during private conversations between close friends, or during a romantic flick we’re watching. Modern dating is all about types.

Despite its often use in conversations about relationships, until the recent years there have hardly been any scientific investigations as to whether a “type” exists at all.

Recent research conducted by the National Institute of Mental Health in Czechia in collaboration with the Department of Philosophy and History of Science suggests that we do, in fact, have preferences when it comes to our partner choice. We choose our partners based on preferences considering demographic and physical characteristics such as age difference, education, height, and hair color.

However, no research, including this one, has provided evidence that we seek a particular personality type among potential partners. Until now.

“Las Vegas – 9/11 Memorial Motorcycle Ride: A Decade of Remembrance” by TDelCoro

In the newest research, a group of scientists has found that we do have a personality type we keep falling for – and if you aren’t sure what your type is, you might want to look in the mirror.

A study from Princeton University included over 12,000 participants fitted with five personality traits: being open to experience, conscientiousness, extroversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism. The researches have tracked the relationship status of these people for nine years during which the participants had to ask their partners to fill out a personality questionnaire for the sake of science.

The results suggested that the current partners of the participants have described themselves and their personalities in a very similar way to how their former partners did. In conclusion, while people believe their type changes over time, this study has shown that people do have a specific personality type they fall for, and this type persists across relationships.

In most of these cases, similarities have been tested on only two partners per participant, but for the 29 participants who had more than two partners willing to take the questionnaire, the results were exactly the same.

“San Francisco fire fighter” by quinn.anya

Even more surprisingly, the study suggests that our type is likely closer to our own personalities than we’d like to admit. The research has shown that not only do ex and current partners share lots of similarities, they are also very similar to the participant themselves.

The only types of participants who chose new partners that weren’t similar to their exes were the ones who scored high in openness to experience and extroversion. It shows us that while we might have a certain pattern our mind goes to, if we are willing to experience new things and if we’re open to stepping out of the usual, we will find someone different.

There are always exceptions – many of them caused by an extremely bad experience with a certain type. For example, divorced people would surely have something to say about the study since many of them have a low tolerance for behavior patterns their new love interest shares with their previous partner.

via GIPHY

The study could hold real potential for online dating. Just as music and video streaming services use our personal libraries to suggest new content that might be interesting to us, dating apps could use our relationship history to suggest possible future flames and matches.

Have you noticed a pattern in a personality type you keep falling for? Let us know in the comments below!

7 Fun and Creative Opening Lines to Use on Biker Dating Apps

Biker couple — *Image:* *Flickr via Bill Colison*

Starting a conversation on a dating app can be extremely awkward. Biker dating apps are no different. You already assume the person you are about to message is into motorcycles, but that doesn’t take away the awkwardness of starting a conversation with a stranger (while the stranger is fully aware you are interested in them.)

Everything you write seems cheesier than your natural tone when you’re trying to get the conversation rolling. However, as soon as you’re over the first few messages, the hard part is over. If you find it challenging to think of an original first message that would get the conversation going without sounding cheesy or boring, you should always have some go-to opening lines.

Whenever you initiate a conversation, it’s best to send a thoughtful question that refers to the person’s interests. Your opening line should ask for a creative answer, it should be fun for the person to read and think about, and most importantly, their response should be able to tell you to some degree if you are compatible or not.

Photo by mikecogh

When messaging someone for the first time on a biker dating app, always go through the person’s bio before starting a conversation, or have these opening lines at hand when you don’t feel inspired:

“How Do You Imagine a Perfect First Date?”

Getting a sense of a person’s dating style will tell you if they are right for you. At the same time, the person will be happy you are interested in what they wish for, so they will probably give you an honest answer. There is a strong chance you will get that same question in return, so have your answer prepared.

“What’s Your Background Song?”

This question will tell you a lot about the person you’ve decided to message. Firstly, their answer will tell you if they take themselves very seriously or if they’re fun and open-minded. Also, a peek into the music taste of a person you may someday date is always helpful. Your potential date will love the question because it will let them express themselves through their favorite song, so it’s a win-win.

“What’s Your Favorite Thing to Do on a Sunday Afternoon?”

Everyone loves talking about their favorite activities. Sunday afternoons are often reserved for the good things in life and knowing what your person of interests likes doing more than anything is very important. You will know if their perfect Sunday afternoon matches yours.

“In 3 Words, How Would Your Best Friend Describe You?”

While it might sound boring to ask someone to describe themselves in 3 words, asking them what they think their best friend would say about them is an entirely different story. It will make the person think about themselves and their behavior towards others, especially others they genuinely care about.

The answer to this question will be interesting for the person answering, but at the same time it will give you a clear insight into what this person believes they look like in the eyes of others.

“Which Gif or Meme Best Describes You and Why?”

Everyone loves gifs and memes. Some of them feel like they’re talking about you and your exact personality. When you ask this question, the person will have fun finding the answer. They also honestly tell you how they see themselves, and how their sense of humor works.

via Gfycat

“What’s the Most Beautiful Place You’ve Traveled?”

If there’s one thing every biker loves, it’s the beautiful, scenic rides through new places and new surroundings. People gladly answer this question because it makes them feel good when thinking about the most beautiful place they’ve ever traveled.

It recalls pleasant memories, and it makes you the ‘bringer of nice feelings.’ In most cases, the person will follow up asking you that same question in return.

“What Was Your Worst Date Like? Mine was…”

Asking about their worst date and describing yours is a brilliant opening line for a biker dating site. It does so many things:

It makes your crush laugh (or at least smile) at your unfortunate date
It presents you as an honest person with a sense of humor
It gives you an insight into the other person’s sense of humor
The answer will tell you what’s a deal-breaker for this person and you will know what they can and cannot put up with

While there is no perfect opening line, you should always make sure it’s more than just a: “Hey?”

Asking a question that makes the person feel good is a great conversation starter because it breaks the initial ice and removes the weirdness. A little humor is always the delicious cherry on top.

Image: Flickr via Bill Colison

Online Dating Messages that Lead to Marriage

There is an increasing number of new online dating sites and apps which undoubtedly points to the fact that more and more people are on their quest to find their significant other, yes, online. Although messaging people online is somewhat different than the traditional courtship, there are ways to initiate an inspiring thread that can lead to meaningful conversation, stable relationship and even marriage.

If you wish to start off an online chat with sounds of bells in the background, learn what to begin with before you start humming ‘’The Wedding March’’.

Let them know you’ve read their profile and prove it

People put a lot of effort into presenting themselves online, so keep in mind that there is always something unique and specific about them that you can turn into your perfect pick-up line. Whether it is an eccentric hobby, arachnophobia (google it) or passion for writing, mention that in your message, to let them know you’ve actually paid attention to what they have to say. It’s true that you’re on a biker dating site and that everyone out there loves motorcycles, but make sure you check out your crush’s other interests, too.

Photo by Big Ben in Japan

Highlight your mutual interests

The best way to make a bond with someone is to bring out things that both of you like. In fact, people claim that most of their lasting friendships begun with bonding over mutual interests. Aside from being a smooth conversation starter, mutual preferences are a great way to ensure pleasant moments face to face.

Be curious about them

Ask them something about themselves. You can learn a lot about someone by asking simple questions, while it will show that you are interested in getting to know them. People are more likely to continue the conversation if you are interested in their stories, instead of immediately telling your own.

With so many online single people out there, finding the right person shouldn’t be that hard. Only, try not to blow your chance with some lame pick-up lines, since the very first message you send can make or break the whole dating thing.

How to Make Online Dating Interesting

Photo by Johan Larsson

It’s completely normal to start getting bored with your online dating profile. It happens to everyone after a while. All conversations start to seem identical, and no one seems interesting enough thus your desire to meet someone new starts wearing out.

If this is how you feel, you’ve come to the right place. We’ve come up with several tips and easy tricks to shake things up and make online dating fun again. Without wasting any time, let’s get to it!

1. Ask a Friend to Pick Matches and Write Responses for You

If you have a friend you trust, having them take over your dating profile for one day could shake things up for you big time – in a good way. Ask them to stroll down potential dates and pick several they think might be interesting for you. Let them start up a conversation on your behalf. It’s a super fun experiment. Once you have a friend by your side you won’t feel like you’re alone in the whole thing – not to mention the tons of laughs and giggles the two of you are going to have while talking to cute people.

2. Ask Your Crush Anything That Comes to Mind

So, let’s say you’re on a dating site and there’s a member you really like, but the conversation never really took off and you’re getting seriously bored with it all. You’re thinking about giving up on the crush altogether. To shake up the dull conversation, ask thought-provoking questions. Any questions that come to mind. Ask them about their favorite cartoon character as a child, ask them about the most ridiculous question anyone ever asked them, or ask them if they can touch their nose with their tongue. Don’t overthink your questions, just ask away. Ask about anything that might interest you.

This is an awesome way to start and interesting conversation that’s engaging and making you want to talk more and get to know each other better.

3. Shape up Your Dating Profile

Go over your dating profile and think about how interesting it looks to potential dates. Give it a quick makeover to make sure it represents you in the best way possible. This doesn’t have to be a complete overhaul, it could be something minor like changing the way you express yourself, or adding a new photo.

4. Go on A Photoshoot Because Why Not

Your photos are clearly the most important aspect of your dating profile. They make up the first impression you make on people so make sure your photos are fabulous. Candid photos attract more attention. Even though most of the photos on dating sites are posed selfies, the ones that were taken by someone else, where potential matches can see the full figure of the person and their true look – without flattering angles from above, are the most successful ones. Show your true beautiful self.

Ask an artsy friend to take your photos or hire a photographer. Be confident and smile, let the person who takes the photos capture what they see the best in you.

5. Take Risks and Say Yes

Say yes to opportunities for fun. They don’t have to end up being the best dates ever, but they just might become exactly that. Take a positive approach to life and stop ditching opportunities just because you don’t think they are the perfect match for you. The problem with online dating is overanalyzing, which rarely happens in real life dating. Give that cute member a chance, even though you’re a vegan, and they aren’t.

Being open to romance will bring romance into your life. Give people a chance and you’ll end up having loads of fun.

5 Things He’s Hiding On His Dating Profile

Have you ever wondered what are the things he’s hiding on his dating profile?

The Cornell University conducted a study recently and discovered that around 80% of people using dating apps lie about something in their profile description.

This is a list of 5 things men most commonly lie about on their profiles.

They lie about their intentions

The fact a man is on a dating site doesn’t always mean he’s looking for a long-term relationship. A large portion of guys out there only pretend they’re looking for love – in fact, all they want is to have some fun. The thing is guys know most women are looking for love, so they pretend to be looking for the same thing just so they would get intimate with the ladies. Most of these guys play the very same game with every woman; they send similar messages (or exactly the same) to several women and just wait for the ones that believe him.

Of course, there are many guys out there who are looking for love for real. The important thing here is not be able to tell an honest man from a liar.

They lie about their jobs

Let’s say a guy’s profile says he’s the CEO of a company. Let’s say it’s a company you or anyone you know has never heard of. Of course, it’s very possible it’s a startup that’s about to make a great entrance into the business world. But, it’s also possible this guy just thinks he has an awesome idea for some app or a game and doesn’t really do anything about it.

Asking a guy what his role in his company is or precisely what kind of a job he does is always a good idea. CEO might seem flashy, but it explains nothing nowadays.

They lie about their height

The average guy will say he’s around 2 inches taller than he really is. This is somewhat of a rule because it’s so often, it’s incredible. Guys simply assume you won’t be able to determine those few inches if you go out on a date, so they lie about it. The fact someone is a few inches smaller than they say they are is really no biggie, but it might be important for you to know he’s insecure about his height and has to lie about it. If you’re the type of person who’d prefer knowing this, the best way to know how tall he really is – is to ask for his driver’s license. Do it in a funny way, say something about your driver’s license photo looking hideous and ask to see what his photo looks like. No one lies about their height when they’re getting a license (or at least we hope so).

Photo by CollegeDegrees360

They lie about their worldliness

Often you’ll see men say they love to travel on their dating profiles. This might mean he has actually seen the world, but in many cases, it just means he takes occasional trips without ever leaving the States.

A guy also might say he’s really into wine and knows a lot about gastronomy, while in fact, the only “exotic” tastes he’s had are Champagne and Italian pizza.

Men often write things that make them seem more worldly and sophisticated than they actually are.

They lie about their relationship statuses

Ok, this is a big one. Many times a guy will have a profile on a dating site, saying he’s available while in fact, he’s in a serious relationship, or worse – married. Also, the “single” status can mean he’s recently divorced and heavily depressed about it, or he hadn’t been with a woman in ages and needs some intimate time desperately. Some men are going through hard break-ups, so even though they are single in theory, they remain emotionally unavailable.

Why Do the Endings Of Mini Relationships Hurt So Much

Ever wondered why endings of relationships hurt so much, especially when it comes to mini relationships? Why is it hard to let go if it wasn’t real love?

Mini relationships are a very common thing in online dating. Not many people hit the jackpot and find their soul mate the first time they decide to meet someone they’ve met on dating sites and apps. Unless you’re a fierce judge of character, chances are you have had (just as the rest of us) at least a couple of short-term relationships on your path of searching for love.

Those mini relationships can go from several dates to a couple of months. What differs them from long-term relationships, among other things, is the way we end these mini flings, along with the way we feel after the end. These short relationships leave us with an unclear mind after the breakup, especially if you went head over heels and believed the two of you would have been amazing together.

Of course, it’s normal to be down after such a relationship ends. You opened up to someone, maybe even seriously fell in love, had hopes and dreams. Now that all of it is shattered, you feel as if you’re left with nothing. You feel you’ve wasted your time and feelings, you feel betrayed, and most of all – you probably still think the two of you would have been GREAT if only it wasn’t for that one thing (bad timing, his ex still snooping around, a big red flag that turned up eventually, etc). All of these can be the reasons why endings of relationships hurt, especially these short relationships.

The truth is all the “could’ve, should’ve” are leaving you restless and yes, they hurt very much.

When you end a relationship that never even really developed into deep commitment, you actually end a dream. You never got to know this person on a deeply personal level; you never got to know all about the good and bad about them. This is the main difference when it comes to ending a serious relationship as opposed to a mini-relationship.

If it wasn’t real love, do we know why endings of relationships hurt?

When a person is in a long-term, committed relationship, they get to know all about their partner. They get to find out how the partner acts in various situations, they get to REALLY know the person because the relationship goes beyond the honeymoon phase and it hits reality.

Ending a long-term relationship is ending something because it didn’t work. You’ve tried it and it simply didn’t work and you know this for a fact. You have a closure and a reason why this person needs to be out of your life. You know it wouldn’t work out, ever. Why endings of relationships hurt – because you’re ending a big part of your life.

With mini-relationships, you never go over the honeymoon phase. You never get to know if the two of you would work as a team when it comes to everyday things or any little things. You have no idea if the two of you are compatible because the illusion you’ve created out of passion and desire for someone still lingers. It had no time to end. You had no time to meet the man/woman behind the illusion.

It’s completely normal for these mini-relationships to leave you hurt and somewhat broken – for a little while. Just make sure that little while doesn’t change your perspective on love because there are amazing people out there. You just need to find them.